 Print |  Close Window | | A Grandparent's New Role: Keeping Pace with the Grandkids | | The Best of Times News -- December 2007 | | By Karen Kersten |
Although age brings with it some special challenges such as health concerns, perhaps stretching a budget in order to cope with inflation on that fixed income, the ensuing lifestyle changes, there comes also – if one is very, very fortunate – the opportunity and blessing of filling the role of grandparent. Some of the most precious times of my life have been spent interacting with my three year old grandson. Loving him began at his birth. After the nurses placed him on a table, I suddenly felt a burst of energy flood toward me from his swaddled body. I knew at that instant I had just experienced a miracle! The peace and awe that overtook me – a warm glow that is barely describable – will never by forgotten. At that very second, I realized that life is about love, sharing and creating memories together. And so began my journey into grandparenthood and the beginning of memories to follow. At his birth, he gave me his first gifts – that of gratitude for the miracle of life and the gift of humility. He has given me an awakening of the spirit - a playful, carefree, humorous, creative, spontaneous and free spirit to be only in that very moment! So when it comes to advice for you, I include these thoughts: I have heard it said that the 60’s are the new 40’s (middle age). No doubt, one reason could be the stamina one needs to keep up with these little ones and/or their older siblings as well. Therefore, take good care of yourself – your body and mind. It takes a quick mind, if not an educated one, to stay ahead of today’s kids. Their heads are filled with the new technological advances of just the past decade or so – and we all know what that entails! Computers, MP3 players, zip drives, CDs, DVDs, MTV, HDTV, VTech, VSmile, Leap Frog, tracphones, cell phones, ipods, and well, need I go on? So do your best to learn about the new-fangled gadgets out there so that you can enter into their world. Also, how is your attitude? What are your needs or concerns? Are you getting your needs met? Are you solving your problems? How you think and feel affects your relationships. So be sure to address these questions every now and then to ensure you are at the top of your game. Look at your schedule. Clients tell me frequently how much their grandparents mean to them because of the memories created. Maximize time spent creating those memories by creating rituals (such as storytime or family game night). Know that your investment of time and energy is well spent! Grandparents have indeed become a most important part of their children’s world. Since new technology and methods are every changing and becoming more sophisticated, a grandparent’s role is indeed challenged to keep pace with the times. In our local area, grandparents can find current methods to care for newborns, learn CPR, obtain new safety information (for example, how to put the car seat in correctly) and learn the best ways to create a healthy bond with the grandchild(ren). Society has shown an increased demand for this education since many grandparents find they are in the role of primary caregiver or guardian. According to the American Association of Retired Persons’s Foundation (aarp.org), there is a way to link up with the local support database for various resources for grandparents. Topics include caregiving, child care, support groups, educational seminars, workshops, health support, programs for children and transportation assistance. When providing childcare for grandchildren, families often benefit from talking about the potential needs, issues, concerns or wishes and coming to an agreement or developing a plan about them. A little more information… Childproofing your home can help keep the kiddies from harm. Microwaves are best out of reach of little button pushers. Other ways to prevent harm may include child locks or parental controls set up on your computer. Lastly, I reiterate the value of your role as grandparent. As you experience your normal, everyday activities with your grandchildren, recall how special they are to these precious children. Whether you are just sharing a smile or a hug, please know that you are building memories, making a difference, bringing a special experience to a child’s life. This is truly the stuff of life….just ask your grandchild, he’ll tell you…!! Karen Kersten is a therapist at The Center for Families. |