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Girls Just Want to Have Fun! (A look at women's social clubs)

October 2008

By Amanda Newton

Today, in northwest Louisiana, many women still gather in modern day versions of women’s social clubs. Even when it is not a formal organization, the women in the groups realize many benefits from this fellowship with other women. They gather to be entertained, educated and to just have fun.

Many of the women say these groups are good for their soul and good for their heart. Several medical studies suggest that this regular social activity is beneficial for mental and emotional health and might even help ward of dementia. Research has also shown that keeping your brain active keeps you brain sharp.

Since the benefits are so numerous, it is little wonder that the women in these groups say they love it and many can’t imagine their lives without them.

One of the best known women’s social clubs in the area is the Woman’s Department Club, founded in 1919. At the time, Shreveport had a population of 43,000 and there were not many cultural activities in which women could participate. The club was formed “to provide a center of thought and action, thereby focusing the strength of the women for promotion of educational, literary and artistic growth of Shreveport and vicinity.” Today, almost ninety years later, the club is still committed to “enhance friendship among women of our community by providing opportunities for participation in a variety of settings including meetings, luncheons, committees, interest groups and special events.”  

Christine Griffin, 84, joined the Woman’s Department Club about 10 years ago. The Shreveport resident now also serves in a managing position at the club.

“We offer a lot of educational programs,” Griffin said. “It was created for that very purpose. We offer (programs on) home enhancements, the arts, literature and educational type things.”

There have been bonds and friendships established at the club that last for years and years, she said. There are currently about 200 members who have a wealth of activities to take part in each year. A travel chairman plans travel programs, art classes are held once a week, and there are monthly book review luncheons.

When someone shows an interest in joining, they are invited to one of the club’s functions as a guest. If they show an interest after the visit, they can be proposed by a member. One member proposes membership and another co-sponsors it. Then it is voted on.

Griffin said the social aspect and the opportunity to meet the other members and have outings with them are the best things about being a club member.

“It is just a good, wholesome, interesting, enlightening experience,” she said. “It is good for (you) and you meet the nicest people.”

A more recently formed women’s group is Krewe de les Femmes Mystique. This women-only Mardi Gras krewe was formed in 1999. According to their website, the goal was to “bring women of different backgrounds together to celebrate Mardi Gras and to provide service to the community in the form of volunteerism and charitable donations.” They are a diverse group of “married and single women, mothers and grandmothers, homemakers and professionals, all creeds and races.”

Stephanie Holoubek is the current captain of the krewe and has been a member for 10 years. She said there are currently about 50 members, ranging in age from approximately 30 to 80. A woman must be at least 25 years old to join.

Holoubek said the people she considers her best friends she met through the group. She also said it is “definitely, very, very important” for women to gather with other women.

The big event each year is Mardi Gras and the events associated with it.

“Mardi Gras is a ball,” she said. “We do have work involved getting ready for our coronation and our ball each year. But it is fun because we have a grand time doing it. There is work, but a lot of it is play as well as work.”

After 10 years, Holoubek said she has so many great memories during her time in the krewe that she can’t name just one. Trips to New Orleans and Dallas to buy supplies for Mardi Gras are always a good time.

Then, of course, there is the yearly ball.

“I have been on the court,” she said. “In year five, I was Lady of Music. To come on stage in your costume and hear everyone hollering and throwing beads…”

Another group that always has a good time is the Red Hat Society. According to information on the national Red Hat Society website, the society was “inadvertently begun by Sue Ellen Cooper of Fullerton, California, when she and a few friends took inspiration from a popular poem entitled ‘Warning’ by Jenny Joseph, which begins ‘When I am an old woman...’ Since the poem mentions wearing a red hat and purple attire, she and her friends formed a group that met on a regular basis for tea in their red hats and purple dresses, in public. When Sue Ellen and her friends were featured in ‘Romantic Homes’ magazine in July 2000, they began fielding inquiries from other women who wanted to start their own chapters.” And that was the start of this fun-loving group with virtually no rules and whose only mission is to have fun.

Ginny Bates, 65, learned about the Red Hatters two years ago through a friend. She joined a friend’s chapter of the Red Hat Society, and then joined another and soon after, she started her own chapter. Now, she is a queen.

The Divinely Aging Divas, of which Bates is queen, is like all the other chapters in the world in that it is all about fun.

Most chapters meet at least once a month for a variety of activities. Sometimes, it might be lunch and a play. Other times they gather in local restaurants for a lot of visiting. Or, as on a recent outing, it might be a fun trip to the ballpark to catch a baseball game.

“We just do things that are fun,” Bates said. “It is all about you. It is so good for a person who needs help with (making) friends. As a matter of fact, I had one lady tell me her doctor recommended a Red Hat group for her.”

“Maybe you have lost a husband or a loved one and you just don’t know where to go. Well, you get so close to others in the group because we do things together. We are always there for each other. We are like sisters.”

Even though her group has only been up and running since February, Bates already has 10 members and would like to get 20. Although not all chapters are open to Pink Hatters, Bates said she would love to have one in her chapter. Pink Hatters are women under the age of 50, which is the minimum age for being in the Red Hat Society.

“(A Pink Hatter should be) a more mature person,” Bates said. “Somebody in their 30s is mature enough they would really enjoy some of the silly things we do.”

Bates believes it is very important for people to maintain social contacts as they get older. Being together and having fun is good for the mind and spirit.

“The more you laugh and the more fun you have, the better you feel,” she said. “It keeps you from just sitting day to day, going downhill, as I have known people to do. And we do laugh a lot.”

After Delores Ivy, 68, retired in 2000, she had a little extra time on her hands. Her sister had helped her with a few things with the stipulation that she would have to join her garden club.

“I thought, oh Lord, shades of Mother,” said Ivy. “I could just see myself with the little gray-haired ladies. Well, most of them may be gray-haired ladies but they have got an interest in life and will go anywhere on a field trip if we stop and eat on the way. They are wonderful people and I have gotten to know so many through the garden club that are now really good friends.”

Today, Ivy is the District Director for the Louisiana Garden Club Federation. She said most of the garden clubs in this area are still all-female, although there are a couple of clubs that have several male members as well.

Being in a garden club is a lot more than digging in the dirt. There is a large educational aspect to it, with members learning new gardening information, as well as sharing their own knowledge with others. Ivy said she didn’t know what to expect at first, but it wasn’t long until she was hooked.

“An average garden club will have about half of their monthly programs on horticulture and half on flower design,” Ivy said. “Generally, we have a flower show in the spring. It has to meet national guidelines. It has horticulture and a (flower) design section. It is absolutely beautiful, the things that these ladies come up with.”

Many garden clubs go on field trips in addition to regular programs on topics like composting, attracting butterflies or pruning.

“You can ruin something real quickly by pruning at the wrong time,” Ivy said. “I pruned something once at the wrong time and that was the last time I saw it.”

One of the best things about being a member of a garden club is the large knowledgeable network you become a part of. Ivy said she can just pick up the phone anytime she has a question about a bug or a plant and find the answers from someone in her garden club.

“Every club welcomes visitors to come see what they are doing,” Ivy said. “We are not a high-pressure group. It is just made up of people who like to garden.”

Although Ivy might have been hesitant in the beginning about joining a garden club, she certainly does not regret her decision now.

“My mother and sister are both yard people and my mother used to tell me I needed to do it; that digging is therapy. I told her I would take mine some other way, thank you. But, it does help and is therapeutic. To see (something) bloom and it actually comes up and looks good - that’s rewarding in itself.”

When Lisa Berry, 39, gets together with a group of women, it tends to be indoors. She is the member of not just one, but two Bunco groups that play once a month. These female-only groups know how to have a good time.

Berry had started a group of her own when a friend asked her to sub in another group. After she played as a substitute, they asked her to join. Now, twice a month, she gathers with a group of women to play Bunco, an easy to learn card game.  

Berry, who lives in the Keithville area, said that when you live outside of a city, “it is nice to have community type groups where everyone just lives right down the street.”

Her groups are made up of women of all different ages.

“My mom plays in my group and my best friend and her mom also play in the group,” she said. “It ranges from probably 35 to 67.”

The dates are arranged in advance and the groups rotate meetings from house to house each month. Berry said it is important to plan things in advance.

“It is a set date because you don’t always make time to do those things, the girls-night-out things. And this way, it is easier since you know when you are going to do it.”

Berry said this is a good way to meet other people, since there are often subs.

She also emphasized that though each member takes a turn hosting, it is not at all stressful.

“We don’t put a lot of stress (on the hostess),” Berry said. “The group I started, most of the women love to cook and entertain -  really go all out. But, there is no pressure to do that. If you don’t cook, we say ‘order pizza.’ It doesn’t matter. You do whatever you want to do. The goal is to have fun.”

Pam Twohig, 50, of Shreveport, plays Pokeno once a month with a group of women who have been having fun and enjoying each other’s company for a long time - some for close to 30 years.

Twohig has been playing with the group for about 10 years, ever since a friend asked her to play as a sub.

“We had so much fun they asked me to stay,” she said.  “I am the youngest in the group right now.”

It is a close group of women who keep up with each other outside of the games, too. “They have all been together through marriages, divorces and the deaths of spouses. And also through the births of kids and now their grandkids.”

She has gained some really close friendships from the group and says they are there for each other whenever bad situations arise. Recently, one of the player’s sisters passed away and the group pulled together to help.

“Whichever one of us finds out something like that (a death or illness) first, we call somebody and we make sure (we spread the word). After the last incident, we decided we needed to get closer together when it came to things like that. We just do things that normal people wouldn’t do. Like everybody else would bring food, but we might see if they need their house cleaned.”

It is very important for women to get together with other women, to talk and share a laugh, said Twohig. All the women come from different backgrounds in one way or the other so it is not like they are with the same people that they see everyday, and that is part of the charm, she added.

“They took me in, too,” she said. “It wasn’t like I was an outsider. After the first one or two times, it was like I had always been there. I plan on keeping it up as long as I can. We laugh about it sometimes, trying to figure out what nursing home we will all go into together.”

(Thank you to the LSUS Archives-Noel Memorial Library for the use of the photos on page 31.)